| Eve & Elle Admin
Discouragement! It is like a grey fog in an autumn morning. It shows up without warning. Thick and overwhelming;
"I'm failing! Everything is falling apart.", you tell yourself, or, "This will never work." "I'm not good enough", "I'm so bad at this. It's all my fault." ...etc. Sound like familiar negative self-talk?
On top of that, you might have layered on some feelings of doubt, frustration and maybe even hopelessness or what feels like momentary depression. What's worse is, you blaming yourself and are mad at yourself for it. Maybe even mean to yourself. You turn into your own biggest hater instead of what you should be - your own biggest fan.
So you've hit a rough spot. Everybody does at some point. And you know what? It's going to be okay. You will get through this and here are 4 fast ways how you can overcome discouragement and even walk all over it. Walk all over it in heels, if you want to. :-)
1# Discouragement is just another type of fear
Realizing that discouragement is just a form of fear, diffuses the power of it. Fear is an emotional reaction. It is a perception. It is not reality, and you have the power, but you are just having a less powerful moment. You are just feeling afraid.
2# Fear Lies
You wouldn't run a marathon without preparing first would you? So how is goal-getting any different? Take a break, come back to the problem when you are less emotional and work through it. At that point, it's okay to combine critical thinking with your intuition. What's key here is that you work on your problem, when you are grounded and prepared to tackle the problem constructively. As Louis Pasteur said,
"Luck favours the prepared mind."
Will Smith has famously explained that fear lies. Fear tells you all kinds of stuff that isn't true.
Realizing that the things fear tells you and the negative things you tell yourself while feeling discouraged is not rational thinking, will help you work through it. Once that is out of the way, you can regroup and get back into your positive, energized productive mode.
3# Say what you are afraid of out loud
So now that you know that you are just afraid of something, you can call your fear out. State what the fear is. Confronting fear will help to diffuse it, so that you can deal with it.
Talk about it with someone, and journal about the fear, in a notebook.
Here are 6 of the most common and relevant fears people have surrounding discouragement. A lot of the fears are simultaneous, even the top 2! And all of the contradictory ones, too.
- Fear of failure
- Fear of success
- Fear of dying
- Fear of living ...and fear of being happy
- Fear of poverty
- Fear of people and social situations
So your discouragement is probably tied in with one of these fears. As the old saying goes, "there is nothing to fear, but fear itself".
3# Take back your control and composure
Meaning you are the CEO of your own life. One moment of discouragement is just that, a moment. Now that you know this, take back the control and move forward. Own it.
4# Take Control. Take the power.
It's okay to not have it all figured out yet. You are working step by step toward something that is not easy. Everyone experiences set-backs, along the way.
As Beyonce Knowles says; "No one is going to give you power. You have to take it." There are many ways you can take power, including gracefully and generously. Though if you want to be a leader, or help or have something, then you have to do the work and go get it. Keep the end goal in mind, but enjoy the sport in the meantime.
So what are you going to do about it? If you're anything like Beyonce, when life give you lemons, you'll make lemonade. :)
So the goal is...
The goal is to understand what your discouragement is about. If you look at it positively, being discouraged just means you really care about what you're trying to achieve and that you are very motivated. This is just one moment where you hit a rough spot. Overcoming it will make you stronger.
and then use this realization to focus your energy on moving forward. So remember,
"You are the CEO of your life."
Life lessons from successful people
And.. Do you know what all successful people have in common? They never give up. You've got this.